Never did I imagine that my strong, independent, determined mum who raised me as a single mum from the age of 45 would become a lady who suffered from Dementia? It took me two years to accept this disease and to understand it. My sister and I were blessed to have our mum until she was about 84 before Dementia set in. Yvonne Joy – who liked everyone to call her Joy because she always said she was such a joy to everyone around her, with a big smile and little chuckle – never a truer word was said. She always liked to make people around happy and laugh. Kind, sensitive and extremely protective of her family.

In the home she was at, where she received the most amazing care, I could not have asked for better care. Mum was the one who would get up and dance to the music and sing along to a tune, crack a joke or two, and have a big smile. Thanks to everyone around her, even in the last months when Dementia had really taken hold. I know that deep down inside somewhere my mum was always there and most times she let us know, even when she could not speak, she let us know. I noticed when we visited, for a split second as we walked into the room there was a hint of recognition by her face lightening up. We talked about everyday things, gave kisses and loves; her smile was big and her big and beautiful blue eyes still shone with love and mischief when we spoke.

If I can offer anything to you, know that whoever it may be suffering with this disease, they are there. They may not remember you one minute or that you were there 5 minutes ago, they may be struggling to walk, talk or eat but their hearts are still full of love and they are that person you knew so well and loved for so long. They have just stepped away for a while, I believe to give them peace and save them from distress from the world around them,
how marvelous for them.

Visit, talk, magazines my mum seemed to enjoy just looking at the pictures. Take a treat, do not try to remind them of the past or what was, have a “Normal” visit, talk of everyday things and even if there is no response, they are in there somewhere joyful to see you. I must thank Alzheimer’s SA for their support and advice whenever I emailed or picked up the phone, so many questions were answered for me, and you helped me make decisions that I found difficult in a very caring and special way – THANK YOU.

Mum, I am sure you are dancing and bringing Joy to all those around you even now.

Love and miss you Motherduckett

Blog post submitted by Sally Moon